Knockers Vs Ide Hill

Lose :: Played on Sunday 9th August 2015

Knockers
124-10

Ide Hill
128-0

Match Report

Knockers came a distant second in the Great British Bake Off at Ide Hill. Despite Casja's excellent cup cakes drawing an eager queue at tea, they still disappeared more slowly than our distinctly soggy bottomed batting as our winning streak wilted dramatically in the hot August sun. Richard Calver's half century gave us some cheer in this 10 wicket defeat.

This week's excuse for lateness from Guido was the M23 so once again the vice skipper, Freddie Young took charge, won the toss, looked among his three teammates and figured we ought to bat. Already a veil of sadness had been placed across our troops at the news that this would be both the Duke's and Freddie's last game this summer. Sadness turned to despair as Tom Cobb fell victim to the notorious Ide Hill track when he watched a shooter make a mess of his woodwork.

Guido was arrived. Guido was ready. Guido was confident. Guido was out. Two down and Mary Berry was already sobbing on her Aga when the Duke succumbed to become Walking's third victim. Calver had begun his innings with a six but Lando walked out with most of his recent dishes involving ducks - he blocked and we witnessed his first ever purposeful leave in cricket. Would he play foil to Calver's creamed drives? No. After a boundary he fended off a lifter to silly point.

Christian Kutner was caught, becoming Walker's fourth scalp and the Ide Hill skipper wasn't about to take himself off in this timed game. Calver carried on regardless, surviving an appeal for caught behind and going past fifty, only finishing when he ran out of partners. Freddie went LBW after some stout defensive play and a six. Harry Elliot hit two boundaries off his first two balls before presenting Walking with his five fer as he dollied to mid wicket. Johnny Kemp, Guido's workmate, was cajoled into batting, hit a streaky boundary to gain office bragging rights and then was bowled with the ball of the day for Walking's sixth. It seamed outwards off a good length to nick the top of off. Barnie Ford also entered with a boundary, clipped another and was then caught. Gerald McBrearty followed him back to the pavilion next ball as Wrigley gave us little to chew on.

Tea was good. Supplemented by the future Mrs Kutner, it was about the only thing that tasted good for Knockers that day as unlike those who had forgotten their suncream, we looked distinctly half-baked.

Harry opened, couldn't find much swing but held his end. Kutner, looking good, feeling flush but a little bit off colour on the talent front this week toiled at the other end. There was always hope that their innings might go the same way. Calver handled his borrowed-from-them gloves well, Cobb took over from Kutner and bowled well and Harry had opener Pope walking only for forward square leg to run forward and past a skied chance. Pope's partner, Gammidge, so often the bane of a Knocker's effort in the field, was happily chopping the ball away for fun until Young, who had bravely brought himself on at the danger end, watched a wafted shot get ignored by cover. Gammidge raced to fifty and despite the priceless father-son combo of the Duke and Guido bowling at both ends, they were home without loss by 6pm.

The Cock Inn, under new management, laid on food for both teams and Guy confessed of the day he was invited to express his true carnal self by his mother, who had read his emails and misinterpreted his fascination for the Parson's nose as meaning he might not always wield a bat for Knockers during a match. Pete Smith had to swerve off the road on his way to the ground having spotted his defeated comrades sitting outside the pub a tad earlier than expected.

Onwards to Eridge to try to chase down that tenth win of the summer.

 

Batting

Batsman	How Out	4s	6s	Runs
Tom Cobb	bowled	0	0	5
Charles Doubleday-Potts	bowled	0	0	11
Guy Howe	caught	0	0	0
Richard Calver	not out	0	0	54
Scott Landers	caught	0	0	4
Christian Kutner	caught	0	0	2
Freddie Young	lbw	0	0	10
Harry Elliot	caught	0	0	8
John Lee-Kemp	bowled	0	0	4
Barnaby Ford	caught	0	0	8
Gerald McBrearty	bowled	0	0	0

 

Bowling

Bowler	Overs	Mdns	Runs	Wkts
Harry Elliot	4.0	1	19	0
Christian Kutner	3.0	0	25	0
Barnaby Ford	1.0	0	13	0
Tom Cobb	6.0	1	21	0
Freddie Young	6.0	1	26	0
Charles Doubleday-Potts	1.0	0	3	0
Guy Howe	0.4	0	9	0