Knockers Vs Otford

Win :: Played on Sunday 2nd August 2015

Knockers
228-4

Otford
164-10

Match Report

With the early finish to the 3rd Ashes Test, all eyes of the world of cricket were on Otford Recreation Ground where skipper Guy Howe lead out a fine collection of Knockers. The late call up of debutant Freddie Elliott was a welcome addition as CDDP succumbed to the lure of an afternoon in bed and Tom Cobb went missing having been finally tracked down by Chicago Mafia loan sharks. The Knockers sat in relative peace as the adjacent dressing room rocked to a plethora of chants and incoherent babble. Howe having lost the toss looked to his batsmen to set a total that exceeded their previous two visits, but when Calver was clean bowled for Golden, the assembled cricketing hacks that would have been at Edgbaston began to sharpen their pencils. Howe seemed a tad neverous, was it the thought of another batting collapse, the fate of Tom Cobb or the supposed imminent arrival of a ‘woman’ to watch his self proclaimed brilliance. A decision was made to undertake a McDonalds run and whilst returning from the Golden Arches, Freddie Young was distracted by a voluptuous blonde and drove his car into Otford Pond where it remains to this very moment. Speller and Seldon began to take the opposition bowlers to the cleaners, boundary after boundary as Seldon reached a rapid 50, only to be clean bowled by an absolute peach. Howe strode to the wicket, his famous bat now reaching its Silver anniversary. As the chat from a number of Vine 2’s rang about his ears he calmly played himself in before looking to build an innings to support the impressive Speller. On 14, he was dropped at deep cover, a costly moment as he then began to play some customary brutal shots to go to 37 before his innings came to an end. The young lady who had caused Young’s car to be floating in the only ‘Grade Two’ listed pond in the country applauded a fine knock. She then provided Howe with a glass of wine, before he abandoned her for the rest of the afternoon. Speller’s superb ‘bat carrying’ was only spoilt by being left on 98 as Freddie Elliott failed to connect in the last over, but a total of 228 looked to be a decent score.
Tea. Crab sticks. The Otford players all inside the pavilion, the Knockers all outside. One Otford player in particular spent his tea break trying to catch a rat for his evening tea. No prizes for a correct guess as to which player it was.

Otford started like a steam train and Calver felt the full force of a vengeful opening pair and Howe had to remove him after two overs. Young, who had to be carried by three Knockers players away from the deep boundary where he had been content to observe the local ‘attractions’, then stemmed the flow of runs and had two chances dropped in 3 balls. Then the joint MOM was called upon to turn over his arm. Freddie Elliott was just the right man to tempt the younger Vine 2’s players to chance their arm. He broke the opening stand and from that moment on the rejuvenated Knockers were on top. Leech went in the early 60’s clean bowled, Robinson who was on the end of more abuse than any Knockers opponent in recent years survived a very big shout from a Rory Goodson (Phileas Fogg) in swinger and then fell LBW trying to reverse sweep Elliott, Then Chalk was dismissed for a paltry total, caught brilliantly in the deep by Calver. Whoops of joy as Chalk trudged off disconsolate. Before his 7 over spell was over, Elliott had picked up 5 five fine wickets and then Harry Eliiott and Kutner cleaned up the tail. Kutner was devastating in a 9 ball spell that picked up three wickets, one played on, one knick to Spellers gloves and a brilliant catch by Seldon and 2nd slip.

Knockers were deserved and fine winners, where performances with both bat and ball said ‘excellence’.
A beer was enjoyed by all, joint MOM’s in Speller (98) and Elliott and Freddie Young went to bed dreaming of Knockers.

 

Batting

Batsman	How Out	4s	6s	Runs
Richard Calver	bowled	0	0	0
Tom Speller	not out	0	0	98
Paul Seldon	bowled	0	0	66
Guy Howe	bowled	0	0	37
Christian Kutner	caught	0	0	6
Freddie Elliott	not out	0	0	3
Harry Elliot	dnb	0	0	0
Freddie Young	dnb	0	0	0
Rory Goodson	dnb	0	0	0
John Mitchell	dnb	0	0	0

 

Bowling

Bowler	Overs	Mdns	Runs	Wkts
Harry Elliot	7.0	0	29	1
Richard Calver	3.0	0	32	0
Freddie Young	7.0	0	30	0
Rory Goodson	7.0	0	29	1
Freddie Elliott	7.0	0	24	5
Christian Kutner	2.0	0	11	3