Knockers Vs Locksbottom

Lose :: Played on Sunday 10th July 2022

Knockers
159-7

Locksbottom
161-4

Match Report

The sun shone down harshly on the Knockers XI away at Locksbottom this week. The sweet scent of suncream, beer and musky manliness hung threateningly in the air as the boundary flags were placed invitingly, urging the scoring of many runs. Rather tactically, the Locksbottom groundskeeper had set one boundary to be 100 yards from the strip, and the other a mere fifth of the distance, providing somewhat of a makeshift field arrangement from both captains. The toss was tossed and it was begrudgingly agreed that the Knockers would have a bat.

Ziggy (7) and S. Landers (39) opened up tentatively, taking their time to judge the amount of swing, seam, turn and bounce on offer (of which there was much). Ziggy tried kicking a straight one which excited the fielders and umpire alike, while S. Landers dug in with M. Landers (14). Their calling between the wickets was borderline abusive, with many first names being used. M. Landers knicked off before the gargantuan partnership of S. Landers and Mitchell (13) began. Never before have the bowling side looked less likely to get a wicket. You could have been forgiven for thinking that we were playing under the harsh beams of an antipodean ground on day four of a certain draw. The batsman were polite, giving great respect to the bowlers who in turn offered few wicket taking deliveries. Attritional and intriguing, the partnership lasted 16 overs for a value of 51 runs. After setting a more than stable platform at 86-3, Horner (3), Dave (9) and Thompson (31*) looked to push on the rate if only to give themselves an excuse to take off their pads and air their soggy whites. Thompson looked particularly heartless, lashing the leather to the 10 yard boundary, including dispatching the opposition’s young debutant for an enormous six (this would most likely have been caught at regulation square leg on a normal pitch) off of the 13th ball of the over. The knockers limped (literally for E. Mayne (5)) to a total of 159-8 after L Mayne (5*) showed great promise unloading his lengthy levers.

Tea was liquid, players gasping for hydration and crawling for shade. Enthusiasm was boosted by an appearance from Guy Howe who promptly began to reel off all the alumni of Haileybury College, still talking as the knockers went out to play. The strong leadership of Atlee would in turn be needed, with the creativity of Kipling as 10 wickets were the only means by which the game would prove fruitful for the travelling band of warriors.

McCulloch (0-39) and L. Mayne (0-24) started well, hitting the pitch hard and bowling dutifully to the captain’s orders. Unfortunately, the captain standing behind the stumps was unable to prevent byes leaking through as he grappled with the worst pain a cricketer can endure: suncream melting into one’s moist eyeballs. Despite the opposition captain apologizing in advance for the carnage which he was about to cause, professing that his wife was throwing up aggressively at home so he needed to be quick, he dug in and looked to bat time. The pitch was two paced and the hot sun had unleashed many a fissure which Ziggy (0-35) looked to exploit. Neil ‘Trent Boult’ Dave (1-13) managed to wobble one onto offstump before E. Mayne, possessed with the strength of an ox and the accuracy of an arrow, produced a match turning run out as the knockers opened their account. Alas, it wasn’t to be. Vadrevu (51) and Charman (32) looked set and started to dismantle the bowling attack, with many changes used in a desperate attempt to claw the game back. Horner (0-13), S. Landers (1-19), E. Mayne (0-12) and Thompson (1-4) ran in hard but the chances were not forthcoming on this occasion. JT’s battle with the youth development player continued as he looked to add insult to injury after a dispatching into the foliage earlier in the game. After middling a cut shot into the gloves of Calver, youthful morals kicked in. Walking was not an option, and subsequently proceeded to inform the umpire that his decision of out was incorrect as our JT antagonist had not hit it. JT sociably withdrew his appeal, as for the first time in the history of the game a batsman has told the umpire that their correct decision was incorrect. Cricket was the winner.

The knockers left the pitch, basking in the golden glow of the late evening sun, satisfied with their work, if not by the result. A pleasant day was had by all as we look forward to the rest of summer.

RC

 

Batting

Batsman	How Out	4s	6s	Runs
David Bowen	lbw	1	0	7
Scott Landers	caught	6	0	39
Matt Landers	caught	2	0	14
John Mitchell	bowled	2	0	13
Seb Horner	lbw	0	0	3
Neil Dave	caught	1	0	9
James Thompson	not out	3	6	31
Edmund Mayne	bowled	1	0	5
Lawrence Mayne	not out	1	0	5
Callum McCulloch	dnb	0	0	0
Richard Calver	dnb	0	0	0

 

Bowling

Bowler	Overs	Mdns	Runs	Wkts
Callum McCulloch	7.0	0	29	0
Lawrence Mayne	3.0	0	24	0
David Bowen	6.0	1	33	0
Neil Dave	3.0	0	13	1
Seb Horner	3.0	0	13	0
Scott Landers	3.0	0	19	1
Edmund Mayne	2.0	0	12	0
James Thompson	1.0	0	4	1