Knockers Vs Porchfield

Lose :: Played on Friday 22nd July 2022

Knockers
159-10

Porchfield
160-6

Match Report

Knockers gathered at Porchfield to lament the passing of Rozball in this penultimate ball loss that wrapped up the tour, on field at least.

Rory might find solace from history; Charles Darwin, twice college dropout, was considered an ‘idle gentleman’ by his own father. Would Goodson Snr think his son’s interest only extended to ‘drinking, sunburn and unfathomable tactics’? It would also take the eminent scientist a number of years to understand natural selection.

And so Jonah and JT’s hovercraft-catching cameo at the crease came about. Itchy and Scratchy appeared to be their adopted personas with Jonah teeing off, one gorgeous on-drive to great effect, while JT wanted to be out in the middle for the remaining 27 minutes of his tour.

With Jonah’s middle stump removed, Freddie extracted himself from a 36 hour hangover to target cow corner wonderfully in a jaunty 16 before being caught. Jai gave Fenners little choice but to raise the finger for a back peg LBW. JT was by now dealing in boundaries partnered with Ben, who was coming under suspicion for tour average protection. James retired to his taxi without major incident, confident he’d set a reasonable platform given talent to come.

Hector looked in fine fettle, both middling and edging to great effect. Alas the latter did for him as first slip leaped to his right to grab a blinder. The Pullan brothers were reunited in the middle with Toby giving the run rate immediate energy with several monster sixes to a very long boundary at cow. Ben would have to look beyond infinity, his stumps inelegantly rearranged. We still had another tour centurion in the locker to come. Things were fine.

Knockers have a history of making life awkward for themselves. Mix in a dollop of Rozball and hindsight has a similar self questioning process to that of a brutal hangover. Loz sent one back to a bowler grateful his buffet wasn’t plundered, Ollie, looking like he was searching the horizon for a lost dog, was stumped next ball and so the big guns were brought together.

And so the big guns were torn asunder. Toby kept up his part of the bargain with Porchfield nervously watching the scoreboard. Sach watched on. Like a Knockers attempt to breathe life into an empty Newport nightclub, the dolly that brought Sachin’s near immediate demise was a hollow, vaguely funny and expensive experience.

Rory was nearly timed out. It would have been a far more honourable sword to fall on than the Benny Hill charge past the ball, likely past Toby too, to bring about Price’s hattrick as the stumping denied us what would prove to be five crucial balls. The stitching on a captain’s pips are bound to come a little loose by the final day of tour so his protests about who was out shall be forgiven as well as forever countered by official record.

159 on the board and the cardinal sin of messing with both batting and bowling orders was grasped as readily as the many drinks turning up to a match ninety minutes early affords you.

Lawrence began convincing us the scheme was sound and once Sam settled down, the undefined plan that is Rozball quietly seemed to gain legitimacy once more. Lawrence removed both openers, the first chopped on, the second taken calmly in front of his face at square by Ollie - the most exciting thing to get near his beak all tour.

Sam was practising various forms of bowling at the other end and struck gold in his third over, bowling a misidentified danger man. His twin, Oliver, officially entered the fray and would hold sway on proceedings going on to an unbeaten 82.

Fading light saw first change offer the last opportunity to use our two legitimate seamers. It was spurned in favour of Scott and Ben. Scott, rather like a tour, grew increasingly costly, while Ben became more assured with an apologetic Freddie catching one over his shoulder to improve Ben’s figures further. Thanks for coming, Scott. Toby under a brotherly gaze, held well at mid-on despite the pressure to bring Ben two.

The position was still decent as Freddie and Sachin came on. A run out ably completed by Jai made things better yet. Sachin lied about being able to bowl spin just to get a go, unleashing a moon ball that Scott first trademarked the previous decade. He quickly reverted to seam and the pair brought it down to nineteen needed from the last six balls, requested by Sachin as a moment he’d navigate happily. Five balls later Porchfield walked off victorious.

We subsequently employed a bat converted to carry shot glasses and so one must ponder purpose and choice occasionally. It took a while to get the Origin of Species right, would Rozball come to be a cornerstone of our approach or destined to win a Darwin Award? The Marsh theory now has the ball in hand. The tourists left for Newport beer in hand, belatedly shaping well on the dance floor. Bon voyage.

 

Batting

Batsman	How Out	4s	6s	Runs
Jonah Munday	bowled	0	0	6
James Thompson	not out	4	0	27
Freddie Young	caught	3	0	16
Jai Shah	lbw	0	0	2
Ben Pullan	bowled	3	0	27
Hector Agnew	caught	3	0	24
Toby Pullan	not out	5	2	37
Lawrence Mayne	caught	0	0	0
Ollie Martyn	stumped	0	0	0
Sachin Rawson	caught	0	0	0
Rory Goodson	stumped	0	0	0
Scott Landers	dnb	0	0	0
Sam Fennessy	dnb	0	0	0

 

Bowling

Bowler	Overs	Mdns	Runs	Wkts
Lawrence Mayne	4.0	0	16	2
Sam Fennessy	4.0	0	27	1
Scott Landers	4.0	0	44	0
Ben Pullan	4.0	0	22	2
Freddie Young	2.0	0	12	0
Sachin Rawson	2.0	0	30	0