Knockers Vs Alcestor & Ragley

Lose :: Played on Friday 28th July 2023

Knockers
95-10

Alcestor & Ragley
96-4

Match Report

We may or may not believe in Rozball; but our belief, in such cases, is more properly designated as faith, and is a matter quite distinct from that belief proper. A rehash of words from an Edgar Alan Poe essay perhaps, but further study into alternative universes could do worse than to examine cricket, a place where different realities bleed into each other with a frequency kept back from other human endeavour. Rory Goodson hit a six.

It is tempting, nay near necessary, to end the report there and have a cup of tea before the end of civilisation comes streaming through this deep gash in our understanding. There is solace to come, not all things are unexpected; three near cricketless days had taken their toll. Ask not whose wicket fell, they all fell. Negotiations took place with the covers still on. We bat. Lawrence and Duke took their props out to the middle and began the T20 show.

Various Knockers had offered last minute evaluations of the pitch. "Hard patch back of a length", "reckon it might turn", "Not sure the on side will be much of an option". It proved to be collective sagacity. Duke chopped on for a golden, after a delightful edge to the boundary and timed single to cover, O Martyn was bowled. O Marsh hit a few solid fours before having his bails clipped. Scott attempted to prevent the coming alternative plane of existence by scratching around too long and going cheaply as per. And then came Rory.

Goodson kicked the first ball away and ran one with all the grace of a bi-folding door opening after a long winter. Loz was then faced with backing up his partner. The charging-block-and-runs saw the by now mainstay of our innings, Lawrence, running past Rory at the point of contact, the very whiff of Rozball burning his nostrils so close was he to the fire. The general chaos, all within realms of expectation, continued for a few balls eventually depositing Rory on strike once more.

The ball in use had thus far experienced a short life of disappointment. Its cork torn from gentle Portuguese climes and ground into spherical submission. Acceptance of such a fate had led to aspirations of red ball grandeur until it was sheathed in pink and sold to a club with intentions to use it for game against a group of men with a combination of tactical, hygiene and alcohol issues. As the bowler released it, the ball pondered briefly on whether it all had meaning. "Nice length this, but wasted, he’ll be limply dangling that bat half-way down the track at any moment." Rory stood firm. "Okay," considered the ball, "another tame middle stump kiss to end his misery." Rory drew back the willow, the ball gasped. "What is that ray of light shining on this ruddy-faced man of undeterminable age?" Rory said nothing back, the bat arced down from middle and passed the line of off stump, meeting the ball off the deck. A universe with Rory Goodson placed top of the batting averages tore through the unseen wall between worlds and into our lives here for a brief moment. The ball, as if carried by Valkyries, flew over cover and into a Valhalla beyond the boundary, seemingly beyond any normal boundary. That pink ball was now settled among legends and so now all its questions ceased to be, it had been hit for six by R. Goodson.

Lawrence gave up his stumps. Ben did so too, a schoolboy ripping through the stunned Knockers line up, Ted tickled to the gloves first ball, Calver avoid becoming part of a hattrick but also fell, Rory holing out on the straight boundary only addled minds further. We lost Jonah in there somewhere or was it Freddie? Did anything make sense anymore? The innings was over well before the overs were. Why couldn’t we still be singing in the Karaoke bar? That place made sense, as did kebabs or other fares more costly at 2am. This 95-all-out would have been unwanted but not circumstantially unreasonable had it been as it should have with 89 needed to defend less the six of destiny.

Enough. O Marsh opened, Jonah foiled. After four overs, a buoyant pav had fallen silent with barely three on the board and extras as chief run getter. Ollie struck. Hector and Ted followed. A back tracking O Marsh caught it with his pinkie for Hector’s first and Hec found the woodwork for his second. A first ball ramping tyke resurrected a run rate trickling below the line along with an able leftie. Ted eventually did for the former. Freddie had worn out his grip by day three of tour as matters slipped away during pace denying fading light. Rory had a go and Duke saw one last glorious failure with his quicker ball edging down to the third man boundary. All was done in the seventeenth.

In the multiverse, Rozball may exist many times over. Somewhere out there it might even bring about a win on the last day of tour. For one brief moment such a universe reached out and showed us that Rory, shackled by fate of being born in this particular earthly province, was attuned to such cosmic possibilities. Will it yet lure him back for another dance?

 

Batting

Batsman	How Out	4s	6s	Runs
Lawrence Mayne	dnb	0	0	0
Charles Doubleday-Potts	dnb	0	0	0
Ollie Martyn	dnb	0	0	0
Ollie Marsh	dnb	0	0	0
Scott Landers	dnb	0	0	0
Rory Goodson	dnb	0	0	0
Ben Pullan	dnb	0	0	0
Ted Marsh	dnb	0	0	0
Richard Calver	dnb	0	0	0
Jonah Munday	dnb	0	0	0
Freddie Young	dnb	0	0	0
Hector Agnew	dnb	0	0	0

 

Bowling

Bowler	Overs	Mdns	Runs	Wkts
Ollie Marsh	3.0	1	0	1
Jonah Munday	3.0	1	0	0
Hector Agnew	3.0	0	0	2
Ted Marsh	2.0	0	0	1
Freddie Young	3.0	0	0	0
Rory Goodson	2.0	0	0	0
Charles Doubleday-Potts	0.4	0	0	0