Ball of the Century
A gifted, entertainer, strong puller and hooker of the ball! Sadly this talented individual has been sidelined since 2005 with a very serious injury sustained after he was attacked by a 50 strong gang of homeless vagrants in Houston Texas. Attending the N.A.S.A centre (see occupation) he witnessed a young (prom queen) being harassed and after intervening was set upon and after fighting off at least 20 was hit by a sledge hammer breaking his tibia and fibula.
In 2010 after years battling against injury and alcoholism and sex addiction, Guy chose to hang up his spikes and pursue his passion for umpiring
Date of Birth - 23rd February in the year of our lord 1976.
Club Debut - Sissinghurst, May 1999, 36 not out
Marital Status - Single. Intend to remain so as women are not as intelligent as me.
Occupation - Space Insurance Broker and Author
Favourite Drink - Chateau Lafitte 1961
Favourite Food - Foie Gras
Type of Music listened to - Electric Light Orchestra, Cat Stevens, Iron Maiden, Snowy White
Hero/Heroine - Alan Whicker (slick), Mrs Maggie 'The Iron Lady' Thatcher
Pet Hates - European Integration, Guardian Readers, Left Wing Teachers, Chelsea Neanderthal Supporters
Favourite Place - Selsey Bill, France and South Beach Miami
Most Hated Place - Any Tesco store. A place where the lobotomised masses gather
Newspaper Read - Daily Telegraph
Most Drunk Occasion - Thursday 26th November 2006. Delano Hotel, Miami, USA!
Favourite Knockers Player - Corin Spencer-Allen
Describe Yourself in Five words - Highly dangerous to young women